The Catholic Girls Exposed

Instant gratification, if we can’t have it now, then it must not be worth having. You know that famous painting of Jesus and his compadres eating at a Luby's? It’s called The Last Super. It took the artist, Leonardo da Vinci, three years to paint. Despite the fact that it was painted over 500 years ago, a week doesn't go by that I don't see a version of it somewhere. Clearly the time and effort put into it has paid off. I am sure you know some artists. You should ask them if they ever spent 3 years working on a painting. Shit, ask them if they ever took a year to work on a painting. Ninety-five percent of the time the answer is no, because they want to be gratified instantly.

So let’s pretend you are in a band. In this hypothetical situation we are going to assume you are the average musician. That will mean that you think your work is genius, even though it is actually sub-par. You believe that you have a better grasp of song writing than all the other crappy bands out there doing the exact same thing you are doing, and just like all the others you fill your BIO with hyperbole such as “truly an original sound” and “when these musician’s met it was magic.” Then, because you believe so much in the beauty of the art you create, you put all your eggs in one basket. You spend more than you should on studio time, and put absolutely no money into promotion. You release your “Mr. Holland’s Opus” and nobody buys it. You spend $70 to post it on CDBaby, and earn about $40 (if you are lucky) in sales. You are now in debt or at the very least broke, and you give up on this band because Sony Music didn’t knock on your door and offer you a limo ride to Xanadu.

Ok I am going to go ahead and admit I was kind of reaching there at the end. Xanadu was the best I could come up with. I don’t really know where Sony Music would be taking you in a limo. I am sure Xanadu is nice this time of year.

The pop music format that exists now has been around for a very long time. The Bible says there is nothing new under the sun. That is certainly true for modern music. The same group of musicians went fromm being Alt-Country to New Folk to Americana in less than 10 years without changing anything about their style. My point is, what you are doing is not original. You are not bringing anything new to the table. If somebody says they have never heard music like yours before, that is because they have limited exposure to music. Major labels are not going to offer you a million dollars. You will never play arenas in front of 30,000 screaming fans. You do not deserve these things, and you will never accomplish them. So what are you going to do, give up? Is this really going to be an all or nothing scenario? I thought you loved music. I thought music was your life. Quit being a bitch. You don’t need other people to tell you that you are pretty. If you like the music you make, then keep making it.

On your journey to the grave, if you ever feel despair and need inspiration, pull out a copy of The Catholic Girls Exposed, the new CD by the band The Catholic Girls. Not only is the album super up beat, fast paced, guitar driven, feel good music guaranteed to cheer you up, but The Catholic Girls themselves are tenacity incarnate. Their focus, and determination, not to mention talent, is inspiring. Having released their first single almost 25 years ago, and still not receiving accolades from the mass majority of the music buying world, they have proven, that with or without you, this is what they intend to keep doing.

Originally called The Double Cross Schoolgirls the band was formed by front woman Gail Peterson back in the 80’s. Over time they have released multiple singles, EP’s, and LP’s, played endless gigs, and their song Make Me Believe has charted on Billboard. Still, celebrity status continues to elude them, although not for lack of skill. The Catholic Girls Exposed is a great album from front to back. Gail’s singing style is beautiful and distinctive. At times it predates her 80’s origins, often reminding me of the more innocent female vocalists of the 50’s. At other times her roots show and influences of Belinda Carlisle shine through.

This band is no over night success. Like Leo from Vinci, they are putting in the time and crafting their art. Energetic and amazing, this is really a fun album. If you like 80’s style pop rock, then you should listen to The Catholic Girls Exposed.

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You can get more details and sample music on their web page at:

http://www.thecatholicgirls.net/

and visit their Facebook at:

https://www.facebook.com/TheCatholicGirls

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Abducted From Wolves: The Story of Skinny Bitches

 What makes one band good and another band suck? Everything is subjective. Some people might try to convince you that it is black and white, that there is a formula for good music. If that were the case the major labels would churn out superstar after superstar. Other than Justin Beiber and briefly Adel, we have no superstars any more because despite the fact that the major labels try to convince us that the bands they are pushing are "good", people aren't falling for it.

Not to say this is the way to determine what is good, but it is simply the method I use: If you hear it once and can’t get it out of your head, then it’s good. If you have to listen to it multiple times to warm up to it, then it is less than good.

Unknown and unheard by most, the new EP titled Debut by the band Skinny Bitches is a breath of fresh air in the otherwise overwhelming stench of today’s up and comers. They are polished, and flawed and quietly strepitous. Their songs have hooks, and their lyrics have meaning. They are, without a doubt, good. In a sea of mediocrity, from north of the border in the town of Toronto the beacon of Skinny Bitches shines through.

The band is a two piece with Robyn Craig on lead vocals and drums, and Ricardo Temporao on lead vocals and guitar. The pair’s vocals play off one another in a Buckingham / Nicks fashion that fits. The music is high energy guitar driven dance-rock, and the lyrics are sharp and insightful. In the break up song Is You Suffering, Ricardo sings "I don't like it when you're hurt, but I kind of hope you're wounded" and Robyn sings "nothing validates love like the aching eyes that watch it move on."

In a recent email exchange, Ricardo and I were able to discuss the band’s origins, it’s influences, and it’s possible future.

ME: Tell me about the formation of Skinny Bitches.

Ricardo: Robyn and I were old friends who had lost touch for a year before we ran into each other in early 2011. She had been playing drums for nearly 2 years. I was about a year removed from swearing off bands forever and was hosting the occasional open mic night for beer money and tepid applause. We discussed hanging out jamming just for fun (though I secretly wanted to be in a band again). I emailed her a couple of demos I recorded at home and a couple of weeks later we met at the jam space she shared with her bandmates in a group called "Ravaged by Wolves". As soon as Robyn opened her mouth to sing along with me, I knew I had to steal her from the wolves.

I suggested the name "Skinny Bitches". It was inspired by listening to one of my female co-workers talk with sweet derision about some girls down the hall. Within 6 months we played our first show for friends, but I was having a hard time sort out how to get the right sound live. We played a bunch of small shows in Toronto and Montreal and things began to progress.

Still, I had to figure out how to make a 2 piece more loud and less shitty, so I went around to guitar shops asking pedal wizards and guitar techs for advice on a simple yet effective setup. It took a lot of experimenting and renting gear but I sorted out what worked for me. I followed that by listening almost exclusively to Death From Above and Fleetwood Mac's "Rumors" for about 6 months. We kept playing shows and I started figuring out how to write for a male/female vocal combo.

In February of 2012 we spent a weekend in Hamilton recording with a soundguy who said he like us and wanted to release our stuff on his label but for whatever reason, the mixes never got done and the whole thing fizzled. It was disheartening, but we decided to move forward and try recording on our own. We went to a small studio to record drums and I did the rest of the parts on my old mac. I have a bunch of samples I've created over the years ranging from a screaming tea-kettle to me abusing my ikea furniture that seemed to fit. I used a variety of synths and samples which require me to play the live shows using a foot-pedal sampler while playing guitar. It mostly works out until it doesn't - but it still beats hanging out with a keyboard player.

ME: You were previously a member of the band The General Staff. I am interested to know more about them. Other than Justin Timberlake’s flawed Myspace presentation of the band, I can’t find much on them. How long was that band together? What happened with that?

Ricardo: That band was together for a couple of years and was my attempt to get a “big” sounding bands with several backup singers for live shows. I kind of forgot that we still have a myspace page. It was great and I had some wonderful friends in there but when one of our key members left, I felt it was time to go back to the drawing board and move on to something new … though I wasn’t sure what.

 
ME: Have you logged into Myspace lately? J.T. has it now so that everything is scrolled left and right instead of up and down. It’s as if they are trying to create the illusion of a smart phone screen scrolling from one side to the other. It’s pretty silly. What advice would you give Justin Timberlake in an attempt to revitalize Myspace?

Ricardo: Justin Timberlake is revitalizing myspace? Are you fucking with me?! That’s just crazy. Ok, I’m googling this stuff and about to learn… will have to get back to this question. Oh shit, I’m watching some news lady on youtube. This is nuts. The irony of a guy who portrayed the facebook guy now becoming the myspace guy in real life. I have to do more research and check this shit out.

ME: Have you heard the new Justin Timberlake album? What advice would you offer J.T. to revitalize his music career? Personally, I would recommend that he do an all acoustic dance album, something similar to Paul Simon’s Graceland, but dancier.

Ricardo: As for his music career – I don’t think he’ll have any problems as long as he keeps surrounding himself with the right people. He's very talented. Good producers, guest rappers, musicians. I’ve heard the suit and tie thing. I liked it. It doesn’t have the club feel of his earlier stuff but I think that by using the more organic instrumentation, it’ll be a slow-burn album that takes longer to catch on but will last longer. Btw, Graceland is a goddamn musical masterpiece. (Because of this question I wrote an essay about the somewhat negative response to his album so far... then I realized it would reveal too much of my own OCD to send it)

ME: I have only ever drove through Toronto. What is Toronto's music scene like?

Ricardo: The scene here is pretty great. There’s an endless amount of music and lots of venues. Also, there are good musicians willing to make the trek from surrounding cities so there’s lots of new stuff happening all the time. It’s great, cause any night of the week you can see just about any kind of music you feel like.

ME: You produced and engineered this album yourself. You also shot, directed, and edited your videos. Did you have training in these fields, or are these self-taught skills?

Ricardo: Well the video stuff is something I took in college. I’ve directed some small projects and am looking to make that a bigger part of my creative development. I recently directed a short horror movie with some friends at a cottage called “DEAD WAKE”. It’s goofy and pretty lo-budget but was a ton of fun to make. As for the music stuff – that was self-taught. I got some music software and have been trying to learn for years now. It’s a slow progression for me, but despite the fact that my limitations keep it lo-fi, I’m glad that at least our songs get out into the world a little.
ME: There is big money in exploiting the hopes and dreams of musicians. Services like Sonic Bids and even SXSW make tons of money off of selling bands the hope that they might get discovered. Truth is, there are zero examples of any band that ever got discovered through any of those services. Why do you think bands keep falling for it and paying the fees? .... It reminds me of when I was 18.  I didn’t want to work, but I needed money. I would look in the paper for help wanted, and instead of putting in an application for the ditch digging job, I would send $5 to the person that offered to teach me how to work from home and earn $10K a week.

Ricardo: Yeah, it’s a frustrating thing and the “opportunities” that arise from paying to play don’t seem to have a payoff if they even come to fruition at all. I understand that some festivals have so many people applying that the processing becomes a time consuming and people need to get paid – but it’s just a shitty thing to profit from the earnest desperation of struggling, young and mostly broke. [Especially] when all you have offer is a bad slot in an empty bar where the sound guy and everyone involved is stretched so thin that their patience is eroded and their work suffers. I think that bands should focus on throwing their own parties and events and just serve their friends and fan base. Our best shows (like our CD release) are always things we put together ourselves. If you can give your audience something more than just a show… an event… an incredible party – they’ll come back and bring more people. Paying money for a shitty slot can be demoralizing and more hurtful to a band’s psyche than people realize.

ME: Amen

Ricardo: That being said I've applied for a couple of Toronto festivals cause having those wristbands makes me feel good.

ME: Assuming you are starving musicians, what field of the labor force do the two of you do full time to pay the bills?
Ricardo: I work in tv, editing show promos and movie trailers and Robyn works for a hotel.

ME: For the last 10 years when somebody talks about the next big thing, that band never become a big thing. Right now Alabama Shakes is the next big thing. I am going to go ahead and predict they wont hold the public’s attention for the amount of time it takes to complete a tour. Why do you think the music buying world is so eager to embrace the mundane?

Ricardo: Embrace the mundane… oh, that’s a loaded question. I’ll just say that people will embrace the comfortable. What they feel they already know on some level. They can give it a name and put it in a safe place - that makes it easy to buy and easy to sell. Put a label on a piece of music and consumers can immediately decide whether they want to do dishes to it, drive to it or fuck to it. It's a factor that's far enough out of my hands that I try not to think much about. I make the music that I’d want to listen to and worrying about what I think other people may want from me would give me too many reasons to not experiment and be honest. If people like what I do, that's fucking wonderful... but if I don't enjoy it, what's the point?

ME: When can we expect a Skinny Bitches LP?

Ricardo: Hopefully in September. I'm writing and recording at night and in every moment I can spare.

ME: What are your top favorite bands of all time?

Ricardo: That's tough. i'll skip the obvious ones (like Radiohead, Beatles). The band I listen to most is probably the Strokes. They're not the all time amazing-est, but their songs are impossible for me to get sick of. The best singer ever was probably Otis Redding. People forget that he was only about 26 when he died... he had so much great music left in him that we'll never hear. I'm fascinated by Fleetwood Mac. The cumulative talent is staggering and the stories are bananas. Watch the VH1 making of Rumours if you doubt me.

ME: Not to say that it sounds like it is from that period, but your music has an early fifties feel to it., kind of pre-Elvis rock. Do you draw any influences from that time in music?

Ricardo: Yeah, definitely. Part of that is trying to write for a boy/girl combo. This is the first time I've written vocal parts for someone else on a regular basis and my templates often tied into old duets. Also, bands like Raveonettes do the mix of vintage harmonies with modern sounds really well and I thought it would be a good place to draw inspiration from. Remember, this first EP is a snapshot of us figuring out who and what Skinny Bitches is. The new material will be an extension of that and will have much better focus.

ME: I remember when Ace of Base came out. In a news teaser on MTV Kurt Loder said “Ace of Base: The next ABBA or just another Roxette?” I like to imagine Roxette in their dirty hotel room watching MTV with a single tear running down their cheek like the Indian in the liter commercial. My question: Skinny Bitches, the next White Stripes or just another Sleigh Bells?

Ricardo: Haha! To be honest, neither. The trouble with being a one-hit wonder is that first – you have to write a hit. From where I sit that’s real fucking hard. How hard? I don’t even know cause I’ve never written one. Maybe I accidentally came close and forgot to hit record – but I wouldn’t know it if I did. There are some great career bands and incredibly accomplished artists who have never had consistent singles chart success. Look at the Grateful Dead or Patti Smith. I read somewhere that Patti Smith’s only top 40 song was written by Bruce Springsteen (though I could be wrong). I think that our value as Skinny Bitches will only be judged after we have a few albums and hopefully along the way we do enough interesting things to warrant conversation. ME: Will Skinny Bitches survive and continue to release albums even if commercial success eludes you?

Ricardo: One of my favourite quotes, which I believe, can be attributed to a member of Queens of the Stone Age: "There is no making it. Just doing it." So yeah.

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Acquire the new Skinny Bitches EP at Bandcamp

Follow them on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Skinny-Bitches

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Abby Cubey's Cleavage

Advice for songwriters:  don't rhyme fire with desire.  Don't rhyme kiss with miss.  Don't rhyme heaven above, with the word love.  Don't rhyme baby with baby and don't follow it up with you're driving me crazy.  Those tired clichés make love seem lame.

Abby Cubey is a singer, but mostly leaves little to no lasting impression.  I only mention it so you know a little bit about the background of ABBY CUBEY'S CLEAVAGE.

Abby Cubey's Cleavage is the star of the hot new video Feel My Fire.


Feel My Fire is a soft core porn about the struggles of a single mom trapped in Tucson Arizona.  She joins an orgy oriented, lesbian only book club in an attempt to regain her youth and maintain some type of human connection.

Conflict occurs when the ladies give Abby Cubey’s Cleavage the assignment of reading and providing a report over the book Bridges of Madison County and Abby Cubey’s Cleavage is forced to admit that it never learned to read.

Shunned by the academic world, Abby Cubey’s Cleavage goes into the desert to trip shrooms and experience spiritual enlightenment.

After a scene where Abby Cubey shakes her cleavage (not breasts but cleavage) at the camera,

The cleavage realizes there was no magic in those psychedelic mushrooms and the true power to read was inside the cleavage all along.

Returning to the book club, a little wiser, Abby Cubey’s Cleavage delivers a stellar book report.  Realizing that it was their tough love that forced the cleavage to overcome her limitations, the ladies of the book club gleefully welcome Abby Cubey’s Cleavage back and reward her with butterfly kisses and tickle fights.

If you enjoy things that are way too easy to make fun of, I recommend watching this video.

CD Review: Secret City by Gypsy Bed

There was a day and a time when existed people that never heard music.  It is an impossible concept to many of us. Today we live in a world of overwhelming exposure to music whether it’s our ring tones, or the radio, or the bass thumping car driving past our house. But there were some farm kids in Oklahoma in 1908, who only went to town once a month and who died before they were 14, that never heard music.  There once lived mountain men that spent all their time trapping furs. They probably heard music, but rarely.  Point is, there were people that lived an entire life never being flooded by constant exposure to music.  To them, if you sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star they would think it was genius.

What about those on the opposite end, people that work in music that do nothing all day long every day except for listen to music?  After years of picking apart, dissecting, and analyzing what it is that equals “good music”, to them Twinkle Twinkle probably goes virtually unnoticed.  Without giving it thought, they may not even consider it a song any more, just something children say.

Godfrey Nelson is a musical composer / producer / engineer / singer / performer / front-man for the band Gypsy Bed.  Day in and day out he is expected to provide what the masses consider to be “good music” for different types of projects.  Godfrey’s career path has put him in a position that requires constant scrutiny, and analysis of music.  Some people will say that they listen to all styles of music, and maybe some do, but few do it daily as a job. When somebody in this position decides to take on their own personal project, the canvas of creativity is limitless. Will they do country?  Will they do Hip-Hop?  Will they do Country-Hop? Based on their latest release, “Secret City”, the band Gypsy Bed believes direct and less complex is the best.

Gypsy Bed is a dreamy eyed stare down a beatnik path. The band delivers a spoken word landscape with a pop splash of Shawn Mullins familiarity packaged in an impressive musical menagerie of jazzy rock rhythms.  If Swedish scientist genetically spliced together Violent Femmes and Leon Redbone and instructed their creation to write songs for Tom Waits, that beautiful beast would manifest sounds similar to Gypsy Bed.  I invite you to step outside the box. If you truly want to hear somebody doing something not many others are doing right now, I recommend listening to Gypsy Bed.

Through the magic of electronic messaging, I recently was able to do a Q/A with Gypsy Bed’s brain child, Godfrey Nelson.

THCOFM:     Is Gypsy Bed a studio project, or do you get out and tour?

Nelson:     Because of my schedule as a producer/engineer we have not done many live performances. I am hoping that we will perform more in the future.

THCOFM:     When did you originally form?

Nelson:     I have worked with all the members of my band for the past 20 years on many projects other than Gypsy Bed.  Bill Schimmel (accordion) and Lorraine Nelson Wolf (Piano) have worked with Gypsy Bed since the early 90's.

THCOFM:     How did the members all meet?

Nelson:     Bill Schimmel was my composition teacher when I was in school and also played in my band Manikin in NYC. I met the others through my production work in the studio. I met Lorraine Nelson Wolf, my wife, when my rhythm section from Manikin was doing a Broadway show.

THCOFM:     This album is not similar to anything currently receiving radio airplay.  Is the project intended for commercial success?

Nelson:     We have no commercial intentions. I am always writing and this particular album has been in my head for quite some time, along with the next one, which I will hopefully pull together this year.

THCOFM:     Who are some of your influences?

Nelson:     I have been influenced by many people, The Beatles, John Cage, David Bowie, Zeppelin, Steve Reich, Tom Waits, Stan Getz, Lou Reed, Miles Davis and the list goes on. I love music.

THCOFM:     What do you think it takes for an up and coming band to get the attention required to achieve success?  Some believe it requires a great recording, but Kimya Dawson did it without that.  Some believe it requires touring, but XTC and Pet Shop Boys did it without ever playing a show (The Pet Shop Boys eventually did start playing shows at the end of their career to try and increase dwindling sales).  A publicist once told me that there is no example of any band that received attention solely based on their talent.  He said anybody that you ever heard of, received that attention because of:
A.     Nepotism,  (usually knowing the right person) or
B.     They hired a winning team (like Adele hired Rick Rubin and Dan Wilson)
Do you think it is possible for a band to accomplish success from outside an already established paradigm: earn attention for their talent?

Nelson:     To make it in the main stream I believe you have to play by the
rules of the major labels. Of course there are the exceptions, but they are
very few. I have worked in the business of music for many years and have
been very fortunate to make a living. Things have changed and music has
been devalued so much that it has become harder and harder BUT, never have
there been so many avenues for indie people and that’s great. I have always
believed that if an artist is true to one's self, that is what sets them apart.
We are all individuals and have something unique to say, we just need to
have the perseverance to find our audience.

THCOFM:     Modern music seems to focus too much on sales appeal, and less on creative content.  When I hear a love song, or a screaming angry song, it comes across like it was written to complete an assignment, and not so much like it was written because the author was in love or angry.  Do you ever complete a song based solely on the need to meet deadlines despite the fact that you may not feel inspired at the time?

Nelson:     Nowadays I write songs to fill my creative needs. I do still write music to meet deadlines and record and produce under deadlines.

THCOFM:     Are you a John Zorn fan?

Nelson:     I admire his work.

THCOFM:     Are you a Shawn Mullins fan?

Nelson:     I’m not that familiar with his work.
For more information on the band and to hear tracks from the latest release visit http://www.gypsybed.com/

CD Review: Discarded Angels by Amy Madden

If you are an asshole with an opinion, you can write a music blog.  It is often odd to me that people request that I review their albums.  I have to wonder “have they read any of my reviews?”  Because they are seldom flattering.  I guess it comes down to any press is good press.

One such review request came from the Swedish based label Belpid Records.  They were soliciting a recent release by Amy Madden called Discarded Angels.  Not familiar with the label, or the artist, the description sounded interesting so I bit.

First the asshole’s opinion, some of the instrumentation seems out of place.  This is not a blues album, and that is awesome because blues is trite and has had all the mystery sucked out of it, but despite the fact that it is not a blues album, it has blues guitar, and blues harmonica.  Minus those parts, the music is interesting.  With those parts, it becomes bland and leans toward un-imaginative.  Like somebody said “if you do this, then you follow it with this and that is how you bake a cake, or how you build a song”

Discarded Angels by Amy Madden is not a pop album.  It is personal, and heart felt.  The lyrics are written like spoken word poetry.  Telling a story perhaps not intended to be insightful about the author, but like all good art, glimpses of the creator shine through. Amy has something to say and she lays it out like Lou Reed, or Scott Walker.  You may not know what she is talking about, but you get the idea that she clearly means it.  She doesn’t dilute her medium with over production.  Keeping the canvas simple, she delivers much stronger broad strokes stabbing at her story.  This is the type of album that an artist can be proud of, but few people will ever buy.

I recommend track #6 “Kathy.”

SXSW: Pay to Play With No Chance of Actually Playing = A Scam

I know exactly what you are saying.  You and your band have created an entirely new sound unlike anything anybody has every heard.  If only you could get the right people to hear it, there is no doubt they will literally shit their pants.  After hearing your music, then cleaning themselves up, they will sign you to a multt-million-dollar contract, the world will be your oyster, and your unique artistic vision will finally receive the recognition it deserves.

Hey, I know.  How about you apply for SXSW, huh? HUH?!?  They are looking for unheard of bands just like yours and the only reason they bother to have the festival is so they can turn each band that plays there into an international success.  There is an application fee but hell just consider that an investment in your future.

Sarcasm aside, the original point of SXSW was to showcase up and coming bands. Last festival (2012) SXSW was very proud to announce Lionel Ritchie would be performing. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?!?  It has been 40 years since he was up and coming and 20 years since he had a hit.  I wonder if he had to pay the application fee? 

If you are a band thinking about applying for SXSW take the time to look at who is playing and wonder “did they have to go through the same application process as me” because there are less than 2000 slots and a shit load of major acts performing. Each big name they put on the bill, reduces your chance of playing by one.

Have you ever been to SXSW?  The “showcases” are basically an advertisement. Some business pays a hefty fee to get to choose which bands get to play.  In other words, if you go, you will see “Such and Such showcase” sponsored by “Such and Such entertainment management” and ironically, I don’t know how this happens, but each band performing in that particular showcase just happens to be handled by “Such and Such Entertainment Management”..  It is the strangest thing.

Have you ever heard of the band The Cringe?  They are, at best, an un-interesting bar band.  I saw them perform twice at SXSW and found out they play there often.  The singer is married to (TV celebrity) Rachael Ray.  The grocery store chain Whole Foods has a huge endorsement deal with  Rachael Ray. The home office for Whole Foods is located in Austin and puts on it’s own showcase each year. I am not even going to pretend I don't understand. Basically this undeserving band (The Cringe) is handed this spot because of nepotism, and your chance of being chosen was reduced by one.

So lets say you have been paying the application fee for years, I highly recommend that you should go to Austin this coming March.  One thing you will see is showcases sponsored by music schools, or Universities with large music business programs.  I saw at least 3 of these in the 2012 rendition of the festival.  In these showcases you will see 18 year old music students that have only been playing for a few months ACCEPTED INTO SXSW while you were denied.  Are they any good?  It doesn’t matter.  As long as they are attending a school that pays to promote at SXSW, they will get to play either way.

After March 2012 SXSW boasted on their web page that over 20,000 bands applied and nearly 2,000 got to play. Yesterday they posted their list of the first round picks for SXSW 2013:

http://elizabeth.cmail2.com/t/ViewEmail/y/9D97D9464D5A1033/302A604FEE1C829614399806BE9B4083

What was the last great band to come out of Texas.  I am sure the state has churned out more than its fair share of over hyped crap (e.g. Bright Light Social Hour, Butthole Surfers), but I can’t think of the last really great act from the lone star state. Maybe it was Pantera? According to the SXSW list, Texas has more great bands than any other place on Earth.  15% of the first round draft picks are from Texas.  Is it because they deserve it? No it’s just more nepotism.  Each un-interesting, can’t write a song to save their fucking life, related to the right person or sucking off the right person, band that is pre-approved reduces your chance of being selected by one.

Who is left? The remaining group of bands that get selected is an extremely small group.  Strictly speculating, I would guess it’s like 0.000000001% of the bands that get chosen.  Those bands are not

1. Already a platinum selling artists.
2. Associated with a showcase’s sponsor
3. A local band that has made the right friends
4. Sucking the right SXSW cock, going down on Rachael Ray, or just related to the right person connected to SXSW.

And despite the four strikes against them, they still get picked.  They may not be famous (i.e. Broncho from the 2013 list) but each and every one of them have the “right” recognition.  SXSW doesn’t have the balls to make a decision without other reliable sources such as NPR or Pitchfork determining before hand that this band is okay.

Let’s say that is you.  You over came all the odds and you get to play.  The idea is that by allowing you to perform while 50 other allegedly equally promising bands are performing at the exact same time all over town, a record executive will see you and say "Son, I am going to make you a star."  Based on what?  What evidence is there that anybody is ever “discovered” at SXSW?  I know that in the 1990’s (when the festival was new) it happened occasionally.  But in the last ten years, what AMAZING artist was discovered at SXSW?  Don’t know? The answer is none, not one.  Don’t believe me?  Here is the list.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_by_Southwest

People like to spread urban legends about so and so was discovered there.  They will tell you Nora Jones was discovered at SXSW.  Nora Jones is Ravi Shankar's daughter and she would have been discovered if the only place she played was Nebraska.  This wikipedia page lists The Polyphonic Spree as having been discovered there but The Spree was formed by Tripping Daisies front man Tim DeLaughter, they were a Texas band already connected in the Austin scene, and they are another example of over hyped Texas bands that never really amounted to anything.


DON’T PAY THE FEE!!!!!  Tell every band you know “DON’T PAY THE FEE!!!!”  It is pay to play, except that you won’t ever get to play.

Having said all that, I highly recommend you attend SXSW.  As a matter of fact get you some house party gigs.  You never know who you might meet.  Record executives go to house parties.  And the over all experience of SXSW is a damn good time.

The Heart Of Rock N Roll Is Still Beating, But The Pulse Is Weak

A. Where do we go from here?

The New York Times reports Fender is struggling to stay in business citing a decrease in interest in rock music as part of the problem

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/30/business/fender-aims-to-stay-plugged-in-amid-changing-music-trends.html?smid=fb-share&_r=0

I would also speculate that the current trend in acoustic music would drive down their sales. Fender does make acoustic guitars, so it would stand to reason that people buy them, but I never see anybody playing one.

Gibson recently posted on their Facebook that they intend to increase the price on their instruments to make up for their own sales slump.

The death of Rock N Roll has consistently been a discussion and predicted since approximately the year 2000 or so. People often point out how there are fewer radio stations with a Rock format, and several record labels no longer have a Rock department. Studies have shown when asked what kind of music do you listen to, few people say Rock, but after monitoring the playlists of same peoples, it turns out they have a very Rock oriented preference.

Perhaps the problem isn’t that people don’t like Rock music. Perhaps the problem is that people don’t like the watered down crap that record labels try to convince them is rock music. Rock is supposed to be raw and rebellious. Today bands generally reduce cussing on an album because Wal-Mart won’t sell it if they say the fuck word. Rock music isn’t supposed to be written according to marketing trends. Why would a kid want to grow up to be a Rock musician if Nickelback is the only Rock N Roll exposure they get?

Did you see this Green Day performance?

 

 

He says “I’m not Justin Bieber” Yeah, Justin probably would have behaved less like a diva. But look at the audience. Most of them are sitting and texting, waiting for this “Punk” band to get off the stage. Why would he want to play for people that don’t want to hear him, and I guarantee you he got paid the same either way. So he rebelliously tears up his guitar like Kurt Cobain would often do when he was mimicking Pete Townshend. Only, when Billy Joel Armstrong does it, he looks like a bitch throwing a fit. On the bright side, Fender enjoyed a small increase in sales when Armstrong had to buy a replacement instrument.

You know why Green Day sells enough CDs to be allowed to stay on their label? It’s not because they write good music. It’s because people want Rock music.

 

B. Nicki Minaj Endorses Mitt Romney

Speaking of rebellion in music. Remember when people worried about the kids because their idols were worshiping Satan? Well nothing has changed.

http://rapdose.com/2012/09/03/nicki-minaj-endorses-mitt-romney-on-lil-waynes-dedication-4-mixtape